What motivates the man

Man I feel guilty.

The Hubs is downstairs right now sanding, filling, painting. Plastering, drilling, sawing. Sweating away on home renos. He is unstoppable.

What am I doing? Jack shit but surfing wordpress and eating an ice cream bar. In bed.

Guess I better pull up my socks.

He is somehow able to channel all his frustration and energy into making our home a better place to be. Working on the house after he gets home from work and all day every day on the weekends.

We have been living in a construction site for the last year, a serious undertaking. But it has been especially nasty in the last four months. No room in the house has been left untouched. Ceilings have been ripped out, floors have been stripped, walls replastered. We are talking bare bones here people.

As if planned, we were in the middle of the worst part of the works right around when we found out things were starting to go downhill for our little sweet pea. Since that day any work on the house came to a screeching halt. We have more or less been living in squalor since then.

But recently he has slowly started getting back into it and now he is full swing again.

Before the loss I was able to paint, sand and help him do stuff. Feel like I was contributing to our new home. Now I am at a loss of direction and motivation to do anything. I can’t get my ass out of bed let alone pick up a drill or a paintbrush.

But I see there is something to his motivation. Maybe instead of crying, blogging, surfing forums or bitching to a counselor, he is able to work out his sadness and frustration on something energetic and productive. And the bonus is he can see the fruits of his labour. And he says he feels like he is contributing to my positive mental attitude (who me?) by making our home more comfortable so I don’t have to feel holed up in the bedroom, the only quasi sanctuary in the house.

It’s times like these that I really admire the man. Even more than usual. I admire his direction and motivation. It’s about time I follow his example and get myself moving. If only I knew where to start. One lick of paint at a time I guess.

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8 thoughts on “What motivates the man

  1. I think home renovations are just something couples do when they are faced with problems. I have a friend that had 2 failed IVF attempts and they gutted their entire house, while my husband and I renovated our bedroom, office, and are soon moving on to our kitchen. My husband does the same thing. He throws himself into home renovations, works in the garage, and organizes things. It must just be how they heal I guess. I, too, should take a lesson, but can’t find the motivation anywhere. It’s been that way for months.

  2. So true. Men just deal differently. I think they can get out feeling through physical activity whereas we need to get them out by talking, writing, etc…sounds like a good man!

  3. You should see my kitchen! (And I’ve already got plans for the bathroom) I think it must be an infertility thing…a way of feeling like something is moving ahead when the rest of life seems to stand still. A false sense of productiveness. Not the “spare” bedrooms though… I won’t even decorate those.

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