Blog buddies

I never began this blog thinking that people would read it. It started as a way to get my thoughts down, an electronic easy to access journal. But more than that, to store them in cyber space as proof that these events took place and these feelings were felt. And that they meant something to me. And although I want to forget it all and make all the sadness go away I felt I needed a way to be able to reflect on how I am coping in this process. To see that I do in fact have some good days mixed in the with bad ones, when things don’t seem as heavy as they do 90% of the time.

I do have mixed feelings about this blog. It’s hard to write or reread my own posts. I relive the hurt and frustration all over again each time. But once written it feels good. Lighter. And since I’ve become a serial friend dumper this has been my selected method of communication. Although I’m not willing to make myself vulnerable to judgement in the outside world, I am more than happy to do it here.

But what I never wrapped my head around is that others would read this too. The gratitude and assurance I feel when I read from comments from you guys has made this process even more cathartic than I ever would have imagined. You have made me realise that although I know next to no one in my day to day life going through what I’m going through, there are a whole lot of you out there suffering silently too.

Reading the blogs written by you lovely people about the hardship you are enduring hurts too. Not only because I am a human being and seeing others enduring pain makes me sad, but because I can relate to your stories, I can understand your hurt and frustration and anger and anxiety. Your blogs make me cry, laugh, curse with you. Seeing the strength you ladies have, faced with your own difficult and unfair situation, has helped me find strength to endure it too. Or to at least try to. It’s not like we have a choice really is it? At least we can make it easier on ourselves by sticking together.

And while I find it heartbreaking that we are all part of this invisible community of loss and heartache, a community none of us elected to be in, I do feel connected to everyone out there. A bond that is more meaningful than some of my longest lasting friendships. Where emptiness is understood. That I can say anything to you guys and you might actually tolerate it. You might even understand it, or might even relate in some way. And there’s something encouraging and uplifting and liberating about that.

And even in this short time since I’ve started this blog I’m actually feeling a bit lighter. A bit less bogged down, one blog at a time.

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12 thoughts on “Blog buddies

  1. I feel the same way. Reading these blogs makes me feel like I’m not alone, even though I felt like I was before I started blogging. I didn’t think anyone would read my blog either; it does feel so much better to just blog the day-to-day feelings. The feelings I can’t talk to the rest of the world about. Thank you for blogging 🙂

  2. I totally agree. In fact, I almost feel like its less of a blog and more of a constantly available support group :). I’m glad you’re feeling a little better, I definitely think it’s helping me too.

  3. I feel the same way. It is so hard to read everyone’s painful stories sometimes…so heart-breaking…but, it helps to know othes can feel and relate. This is a group no one chose to be in,but the support has been amazing. Some very good, kind, caring people out there!

  4. I agree. I started writing as both and outlet and as a record. I didn’t really think about whether anyone else would read it or not. I also never occurred to me that there would be others out there writing about the same things. It has turned into such a huge source of support for me. I follow you ladies and I cross my fingers for you and I know the pain you feel. It helps me to know that there are people out there doing the same thing for me.

  5. All of you above have helped me come to terms with my losses. I have learned how to process some of my feelings from reading your stories and my chiropractor says that it’s clearly working! So thank you for putting your words out there for those of us that are sharing this experience with you. I have started writing about my journey, but reading and relating to your stories has been the most helpful for me in dealing with my hurt. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Lisette your story is the most close to home and I thank you for every word that you have put out there that has helped me articulate my feelings. My husband even understands my feelings a bit better now!

    • Wow thank you so much for your feedback! I’m so glad that something good might come out of this blog. I never would have expected it might hit home for others too. Thanks so much

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