Is it just me or is there an abundance of BFP reports out there in blogworld?
Normally, pregnancy announcements are too difficult to endure. They are enough for me to quit my job, to end friendships, to send myself into self-exile. That’s probably because I don’t know anyone else struggling to have a child like I am in my day to day life. Each announcement ostracises me one step further than the one before it.
But because I know how much heartache and anxiety and strength and emotional strain has gone into each of these Blogworld BPFs, and recognising their anxiety is nowhere near over, I can truly say I am happy and energised for these women to finally get what they’ve been waiting for. This is something that provides the rest of us hope.
I corresponded with a friend on a forum who had 11 painful miscarriages before her last BFP. She struggled with a high risk pregnancy the entire 40 weeks and was never made to feel confident that she would meet this baby. But she got there in the end, and everyone is healthy and happy. Hearing her story and the strength she had to carry on inspired me to carry on too. I need to read about these BFPs. I need to know that this can work for people. That there is a possibility this might work out one day for me too.
Don’t get me wrong, for sure there is a pang of envy and grief, a rush of anxiety and self-doubt that washes over me as I read these announcements. Will I be the last one standing? Still bunless? Still bitching? Who knows. I sure don’t. But even if I am, hearing that other women like me are given the opportunity like this is really what it’s all about. And I truly hope that each of us gets that opportunity too one day soon because we sure as hell deserve it.