Man I am really dragging my ass this cycle. I cannot for the life of me get into any meditation or tapes or mindfulness or visualisation or yoga or abdominal massage or anything remotely relaxing or mentally good for me. What is up with that?
I seem to be able to down my supplements and herbs every morning, to eat better again, to stay on top of nutrition and to do some moderate exercise. But there is some weird mental block in terms of trying to get into this all again.
I started listening to my Circle & Bloom MP3s again but they just make me feel exhausted. Even my old faithful Zita West isn’t doing it for me this time. They bring me back to the desperation I felt before the last BFP. It’s a horrible reminder how low I felt back then. I feel I’m in a different place now. Still desperate but different.
Maybe because there’s so much going on right now I haven’t made room for all these lovely things. I think it’s time to make time. I wonder what will make the switch. Probably one cycle of BFFN and I’ll be buckled in nice and tight back on the bandwagon again.