It’s been nearly 7 months since my life changed for good, since the incredible being known to you all as Nacho has been with us. Words can’t really describe the overwhelming crazy lovejoy I feel for this little guy and how far I’ve come from the dark days. So many sad milestones have come and gone. Still sad but somehow clearer now.
I wanted to reach out because I miss you all, the amazing community of sisters and brothers who have been so supportive of me, of each other, for so long. I think of you all often, keeping your hopes and dreams in my thoughts. I don’t think this blog will continue because I no longer feel the overwhelming urge to pour my feelings out into cyberspace but I do check in from time to time to see how you’re all doing. I’ll still be here though and wherever you are in your journey I’m thinking of you. xx
I owe so many of you a reply to my last post and I promise to do that but in the meantime we have managed to escape life for a few days in southern Spain. I never want to come back. It has been so blissful already, I can’t even remember what it was like to be at work, to be stressed.
We have been sleeping in, relaxing by the pool, resting on the beach, napping in the shade, eating super delicious food, reading, listening to meditation tapes and feeling the reassuring twists and turns of Nachito inside. I am sure he has grown quite substantially since we have been here. Maybe it feels good to be free here. I have had a permanent smile on my face and tears in my eyes since we got here. I am just so bloody thankful for him every single moment. Holidays really do do wonders don’t they?
I was quite nervous flying because it had been instilled in me by a TCM a few years ago that flying could cause problems in pregnancy. But our high risk OB was confident as long as I continued to take my clexane and aspirin as I have been and didn’t fly over 3 hours which we didn’t. Nacho didn’t stop moving the whole flight, and instantly I felt more at ease. His ability to relax me totally blows my mind.
So for the next 5 days we are going to lap it up, soak up the sun and rest as much as possible.
Next opportunity I will update this post with some pics! Hugs to you all xx
A powerful, insightful look at grief and how it changes us. I’m finally learning to live alongside it everyday. I found this article comforting.